Lockdown 2.0

Bumbling through the second wave in nine stanzas

“Stay home, stay safe, save lives,” they said,
Should I panic buy bog roll? Freeze mountains of bread?
“Stop the spread of the virus, two metres apart.”
Little did we know – that was just the start.

Society shut down, is this déjà vu?
Everything closed?! For one month, or two?
It’s all so Black Mirror. Apocalypse now!
You must only do what restrictions allow.

It’s the year of the furlough, the era of Zoom.
Riding the wave of the COVID tech boom.
Shall we bring back the quizzes? They were a real hoot!
Filled with virtual glitches, and “Jan, you’re on mute!

Or a digital detox – that’s what I’ll do.
Maybe take up a new hobby or two.
Shall I make sourdough starter, or vegan cheesecake?
I’ll master the kitchen – get ready, set, bake!

What else am I meant to do with my time,
When I’ve completed Netflix and Amazon Prime?
I’ve watched so many series, my eyes have gone square.
I alone have made Bezos a billionaire!

It’s yoga o’clock! Downward dog, namaste.
Bend my whole body in every which way.
Is this how you do it? I’m really not sure.
Are you meant to end up in a heap on the floor?

A diary reminder, an update for Chrome.
It’s all fun and games all this working from home.
‘Nice to e-meet you!’, ‘I hope you’ve stayed sane’,
‘Silly me – I forgot the attachment again!’

Off to the shop for the first time in weeks,
Jump at the tannoy whenever it speaks.
Is that spot on the floor s’posed to be where I stand?
Mask at the ready, sanitizer in hand.

Missing my family, thinking of friends.
I can’t bloody wait ‘til this madness ends!
No one I can visit, I’ve got nowhere to go.
Just bumbling through lockdown 2.0.